Some people are skeptical of New Year Resolutions; some people believe the start of a new year is a great time for a new beginning. Whether you are a skeptic or a resolution junkie, if your marriage needs a tune-up this is a perfect time to begin to talk VISION.
Throughout my years of serving couples I have noticed that several things contribute to marital dissatisfaction. A couple being “stuck” or unfulfilled in their marriage, unresolved childhood trauma, lack of self-awareness, disconnection, fear of the unknown and lack of Vision are among the list. There is so much power in having a vision for your life and marriage.
It does not matter if you decide to create your marriage vision on your anniversary, birthdays or the new year. However, it does matter that you both take the time to assess your connection, level of intimacy (Spiritual, Emotional, Physical) and overall marital satisfaction. I want to encourage you to take time and sit alone, then with one another to gain clarity on what it is you both desire to remain the same, change and achieve through your marriage. Why has God placed you two together?
A Marriage Vision allows you to do just that. Having a vision for you marriage is just as important as having a financial plan or a business plan. Every great team has a vision. What I love about the process of creating your Marriage Vision is you get to define and create your Marriage Vision together and this gives you both the opportunity to DREAM then also ensure that your combined dream comes into fruition. Are you ready to create your Marriage Vision for 2018?
To get started on your Marriage Vision set aside some time for just the two of you.
Prior to coming together ask yourself the following questions. Answer each question positively and in the present, even if it is not happening or has not happened yet. Once you are done, share your answers with your spouse and have open dialogue about the importance of your thoughts and feelings.
- How do I define Marriage
- What makes me feel loved, appreciated and valued by my spouse
- How can I show my spouse that they are valuable, appreciated and loved
- What goals do I want us to accomplish (short term, long term)
The shared responsibility in creating your Marriage Vision will impact the way that you both view your individual and collective role in having The Excellent Marriage. Do not assume that your spouse can read your mind. Do not allow shame, blame, guilt and criticism keeps you from creating and experiencing the Marriage that you both desperately crave. Most Importantly, Be open to the possibilities and all that your journey has awaiting you. I believe in you and your Marriage.
Wishing you a lifetime of Love, Peace & Abundance Happy New Year
Deona Frierson is the co-founder of The Excellent Marriage and lives in North Carolina with her husband David. She loves her family, spending time with her sister friends, desserts and helping couples connect in their marriage.